I wish I had written that: Week two

Excerpt One

"During Genesis’ sexier moments—and it's easy to forget how many there are—bodies are put on full display. This will no doubt offend some who are used to seeing the book more as a manual than as a story of what it means to be human; however, it is partly these moments—which are by no means excessive or out of character with the text—that remind the reader these people existed." --Andrew Welch, RELEVANT magazine

Andrew Welch just used a book of the Bible -- Genesis -- and the word "sexier" in one sentence. RELEVANT is a Christian magazine! There are many who would be offended by those two terms together, but Welch is reviewing a graphic novel version of Genesis by R. Crumb, and he's calling it like it is. That's rather bold. Simply reviewing a work by such an edgy comic book artist -- one who has created works that definitely stand in contrast to Christian values, such as "R. Crumb's Sex Obsessions" -- in a Christian magazine is even more bold.

Unfortunately, Welch's review of the graphic novel is the only work of his that can be found on RELEVANT's Web site. Google also has nothing to say about him, either -- that is, unless he's a software developer or a Dartmouth medical school admissions director as well as a writer.

But his review alone tells readers a little bit about his personality -- he's bold and not afraid to shock those with more delicate sensibilities.

Excerpt Two

"The huge cross (along with some church signs) got me thinking. I wondered if anyone ever decided to follow Jesus after seeing one of these giant, roadside crosses. I mean, there’s not much there. I wondered about what might go through a person’s mind after glimpsing one of these monuments. Jesus saves; true, but how? And from what? And what difference should it make to me? It just didn’t seem like drive-by evangelism was the way to go. Think about it; can you picture the scene?

'Yeah, I had just finished beatin’ up some old lady—stole her purse and some jewelry—and I was headed back to pick up my live-in girlfriend at the abortion clinic, but she wasn’t out yet, so I decided to rob an orphanage (since I had some time to kill and all). As I peeled out of the parking lot and turned onto Interstate 40, there it was … a big ol’ cross and the words “JESUS SAVES” in humongous red letters. That was all it took to change my life. Why hadn’t anyone told me that before? I pulled off into the break-down lane, knelt down on the side of the road by mile marker forty-two, and surrendered my life to Jesus. In fact, I decided to become a missionary right then and there.'" -- John R. Greco, author of "The Jesus Sessions"

This fictional account makes author John R. Greco's opinion on faceless, interaction-less evangelism clear in a humorous -- yet also edgy -- way. Through the use of an extreme caricature, Greco says that drive-by evangelism is not "

the way to go." And his caricaturization of it is over-the-top, but because of exactly that, it drives home the point.

Greco, who is pursuing a divinity degree according to his bio, would probably offend some with what he has written in the excerpt above. But that's exactly the point -- he's railing against impersonal, human interaction-less evangelism. And sometimes to make a point, you have to offend.

Excerpt Three

"The Bathroom Rule forces these self-important over-texters to explain themselves. Whatever the social setting, you wouldn't get up to use the restroom more than a few times without offering an excuse for your apparent incontinence—and your excuse has to sound believable, lest your friends think you have a drug problem. The same goes for texting: Your friends will understand that you've got to constantly keep an eye on your e-mail as long as you offer a good explanation (you're the White House press secretary), but they'll cut you less slack if your excuse sounds fishy (you're the night manager at 7-Eleven)." -- Farhad Manjoo, Slate magazine

Go to the bathroom a lot in a social setting -- you have a problem. And, says Farhad Manjoo, a technology writer for Slate magazine and author of "True Enough: Learning to Live in a Post-Fact Society," you have a problem if you're reaching for your phone a lot to text in a social situation.

That's what Manjoo is trying to convey in the sentence above. And he does so with a bite, comparing over-texting to a drug problem. It's a comparison that works and with which I find myself contentedly agreeing -- texting in social situations, especially in small groups, says to the other people that you don't care about what's happening around you and perhaps even that you don't want to be with them. It's rude. Manjoo does a good job of conveying this in the excerpt above. And if you don't believe it, read the article itself here and the 310 comments on which he based the Bathroom Rule here.